Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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