whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
