YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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