end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
