whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
