I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you win again, gameday.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
