I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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