I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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