By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
