How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
