She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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