dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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