Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize