Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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