How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
