Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
