i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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