Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
