Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
