I murdered the dance floor call the cops
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
