Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
