I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
