I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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