Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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