Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize