Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
