my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
