That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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