I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize