I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I wish you could order shots online.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
