What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
