i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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