I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
