i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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