Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
