I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
