Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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