The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
