I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
