is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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