very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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