Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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