The maid of honor just puked.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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