I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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