Whoa Z and x make the same sound
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
