i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This is classic penis vs brain.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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