I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize