i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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