We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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