Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
