I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize