2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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