I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
