I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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