sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize