it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
