I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I enjoy the company of your penis
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
