I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
