I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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