my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
