Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
