i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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