I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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