You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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