Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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